


Forget Me Not

by fringegapphil



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Mentions of Blood, Very minor violence, mentions of injury, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-27
Updated: 2015-12-27
Packaged: 2018-05-09 16:52:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5548061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fringegapphil/pseuds/fringegapphil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After hitting his head and sending himself into a state of amnesia, Phil forgets Dan everyday and can't remember him in the mornings. Dan, determined to keep the love of his life from running away everyday, tells Phil all the reasons he loves him to hopefully spark to life the memories they created together, and in the process brings them closer than ever before.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forget Me Not

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote so much of this then blanked on inspiration. I finished it though, that's an accomplishment. 
> 
> (You can read this [fic](http://fringegapphil.tumblr.com/post/136023000380/forget-me-not) on my [tumblr](http://fringegapphil.tumblr.com) )

Phil was clumsy from the moment he could walk, and though it seemed cute and slightly endearing, he called his clumsiness a curse. He was cursed; that's all there could be said about the subject in Phil's mind. He wanted so badly to be able to walk without tripping, hold something without breaking it, and step around furniture without hitting _something_ on the edges. Phil was eternally doomed to a life of irritating misfortune that showed perpetual signs of never letting him live a normal life.

That's why when Phil slipped in the kitchen, and nearly cracked his skull open, he cursed his clumsy nature before calling Dan and letting him know he needed to go to the hospital. Dan arrived minutes later at the flat, worry etched onto his face as he rounded the corned of the kitchen. Phil was sat up against the counter, blood trailing down his face and onto his navy blue shirt. Phil had a crimson towel pressed up against the wound, where obviously he had tried to stop the bleeding. His attempts were in vain though, since the blood came out faster than the cotton material could catch it, causing the sticky liquid to run between his fingertips and drip down onto his shirt. Phil was paler than normal, which alarmed Dan and sent him into a state of absolute worry. He carefully helped Phil off the floor after finding a new towel to press into the wound (which had significantly decreased in blood flow). Taking calculated steps to make sure Phil didn't faint, Dan eventually got him into a taxi and on the way to the hospital.

The hospital was quick to take Phil into a room, seeing as he was dripping with blood and shaking so bad Dan thought he would fall over. The nursed wheeled him into the room, even though it wasn't that far from the front where they had entered. Phil tried to smile up at Dan as they waited a far too many minutes for the nurses to gather a doctor. Dan however, wasn't smiling. He was frowning, worry lines prominent on his forehead that looking extremely unnatural on his face.

“Dan?” Phil whispered, his voice cracking as pain shot through his head from speaking. Dan smoothed the hair that had fallen into Phil's eyes over so it wasn't bothering him. His hand stayed by Phil's head none the less, his thumb slowly grazing over his scalp.

“Yes Phil?” Dan spoke quietly, knowing without it being said that Phil had a massive headache coming on.

“I hate being clumsy.” Dan, who had expected something more intimate from the moment, laughed into his hand.

“I told you one day you were going to end up hurting yourself really bad.” Dan said, not missing how Phil shifted his feet nervously. Dan began rubbing slow circles into Phil's scalp with the hand that was still in Phil's hair, trying to calm Phil as best as he could and maybe disperse the headache some. “Don't worry though, you'll be fine. I promise.” Though Dan didn't know that, the wound couldn't be all that bad considering the amount of time that had passed after Phil had been escorted to the room (which had now been about two minutes total according to Dan's obsessive counting). Phil still smiled when Dan said it though, so Dan took it as a win in comforting his boyfriend. Dan took Phil's hand and squeezed it, letting Phil know he was going to be alright.

Moments before the door opened, Dan leant down and softly kissed Phil's forehead, being careful to avoid the wound. When Dan pulled the way, the creaking of the heavy metal door let him know they were no longer alone. A short women donning a bright purple shirt and a long knotted ponytail walked in with a clipboard and placed it on the counter just as a man with a long white coat came in. The man smiled stiffly behind his spectacles and went over to where the clipboard lay and scanned over it briefly. Dan removed the hand near Phil's head so he wouldn't be in the doctors way when he came over. He placed that hand with the other, wrapped carefully around Phil's. Phil didn't take his eyes off Dan even as the doctor began to ask him questions.

“When and how did this happen Mr. Lester?” The doctor said, pulling out equipment to check Phil's pulse and blood pressure.

“Little over half and hour ago I fell onto the corner of my kitchen counter,” Phil replied as he shut his eyes tightly. If there was one thing Phil hated more than his clumsy nature, it was the hospital. In particular-doctors. Phil didn't know why they scared him so bad, though he accounted that to the fact that when he was a child his mother took him to the grown up doctor and he would always get yelled at for running around. Though Phil wasn't limited to just doctors that made him uncomfortable. The atmosphere, smell, and people made his stomach turn: knowing that this place was full of all sorts of horrible things. The dreadful memories and dying people, the mourning of loved ones. It was all so much of a discomfort that he felt almost tempted to run out of there without treatment.

“Alright well we need to check and made sure that you are not in danger of brain damage or local hemorrhaging.” The doctor said, pulling a seat over to Phil.

“H-hemorrhaging?” Phil stuttered, his eyes flying open; his pulse quickened as his heart speed up pace.

“Bleeding,” The doctor said without missing a beat, acting as if though that news didn't just send Phil into a spiral of anxiety. Dan squeezed Phil's now sweaty hand, bringing it up to his mouth and kissing it gently.

“I'm not going to die am I?” Phil rushed out in a panic induced state. The doctor just chuckled like this was the funniest thing to happen to him tonight- and maybe it was. That didn't excuse it though, as his obviously distressed patient didn't need to be mocked while he shivered in both pain and discomfort.

“No you aren't going to die. If anything you might have some internal bruising but that's about it.” The doctor moved in to inspect the wound and Phil began to tremble. Dan cocked his eyebrow, his mouth turning down in worry. His boyfriend was obviously scared to death, and he had no idea how to help him. Dan rubbed the pad of his thumbs over Phil's knuckles, trying to calm him in anyway he could. The doctor continued to examine the wound, his finger prodding the swollen area around it. At one point the doctor took what seemed to be a baby wipe out and cleaned up the blood around Phil's wound to see it better. Dan leant over and grabbed one as well, using it to clean Phil's bloody hands, which Phil appreciated. He didn't like the sticky feeling on his hands, knowing it was his own blood staining them.

The doctor went back to examining Phil's wound after it was clean, pushing at the skin on his forehead, causing the wound to open farther and in turn making Phil whimper. Phil flinched away from the doctor harshly, making the doctor sigh loudly in exhaustion. Dan squeezed Phil's hands to try and calm him, feeling as though this doctor would be easily irritated by his terror. Phil gulped and allowed the doctor to continue scanning over the wound.

“We will need to do some tests to determine if you have a traumatic brain injury that has bruised or damaged your brain. Could you sit up for me?” The doctor pushed the rolling chair away from the hospital bed. Phil sat up with Dan's help, his hand instantly going to his forehead as dizziness caused his head to swim. Phil groaned and felt tears build in his eyes as the pain got a bit too much. Dan stood up and cradled Phil into his chest, not worrying any further about the wound that may or may not still be oozing blood. Phil whimpered and clutched onto Dan's shirt, feeling another wave of pain rush down his spine.

Seemingly ignoring Phil's distress, the doctor began the tests. “Alright I will first test for cognitive TBI.” Dan furrowed his brow but the doctor didn't explain further. “Mr. Lester would you please take a look at me?” Phil slowly turned away from Dan's chest and cracked open his eyes. The doctor grabbed a sheet off the counter in the far right of the room, and moved closer to Phil once again. “Would you mind reading this sheet?” The doctor handed the sheet to Phil, not explaining why this was necessary. Phil read the sheet, out loud, and only had difficulty when another shot of pain would send his mind reeling. The doctor nodded along, no clear opinion on how Phil did. The doctor then asked a series of questions that tested his memory and attention to detail.

“Alright you don't seem to be having any problem with memory, or sight, which is also good for perceptual...” The doctor ran on and on, loosing both Dan and Phil with his words. “It's too early to tell if you have brain damage, but for now all seems to be well. We will have you come back in the morning for more tests.” Phil just turned back to Dan as if to tell him he was done with all this and needed him to get all the information for him.

“I'll have you both come back at around 11am.” The doctor said, walking over to the counter to retrieve gauze to wrap Phil's head. The doctor handed it to Dan, “Be sure to wrap his head tightly, and make sure you pad it with tissue.” The doctor also handed him an antiseptic. “Make sure it doesn't get infected. It doesn't need to be disinfected here, seeing as you've acted so quickly, but we want to keep it that way.” Dan nodded and took the items, shoving them into his pockets. “If he starts acting weird bring him back here immediately.”

“How will I know what 'weird' is?” Dan asked, looking back up at the doctor.

“If his headache keeps on after he takes pain reliever, if he acts sluggish, or has extreme difficulty sleeping. That kind of stuff, it should be fairly obvious.” The doctor said, pushing his glasses back up his nose. Dan kept that in mind as he helped Phil off the tall white bed and led him back to the entrance. Phil leant on him heavily, still feeling slightly sick and definitely dizzy. They would take a few steps and Phil would grip tighter onto Dan's arm (which was around his waist) to keep himself from plummeting to the floor.

They made it outside, hailing a taxi and making their way back to the flat. Phil wrapped his arms around Dan's torso, his head resting against Dan's chest. Dan carded his fingers through Phil's hair gently, making Phil hum in contentment as his eyelids drooped closed. Phil gave one tiny squeeze to Dan's torso before he fell into a shallow, dreamless sleep. Dan sighed, glad that Phil wasn't having trouble sleeping. “Love you, you clumsy dork.” He whispered, kissing the top of Phil's head. Phil snuggled ever closer to Dan, subconsciously seeking his warmth.

As the taxi came to a stop in front of the flats, Dan gently shook Phil awake. Phil groaned lowly in his throat, his head pounding and his eyes irritated from both his contacts and the spinning world around him. Dan once again had to help Phil to his feet, and supported him all the way to the flat's door. He leant Phil up against the wall as he quickly unlocked the door to their shared flat. Phil nearly dropped to the floor moments before Dan had his hands back on him, though luckily Dan had quick reflexes. Dan slowly guided Phil inside, locked the door and made sure to keep the lights off to keep Phil from getting an even bigger headache. Dan meticulously navigated the flat from memory, being sure to keep Phil from hitting anything.

Once Dan had Phil lying on the couch, he rushed into the kitchen to grab a cold flannel for his eyes. As he flipped on the light switch, he noticed the dried blood staining the floor and made a mental note to clean it up in a minute. He ran the cloth under cool water, rung it out, and then went back into the lounge to place it over Phil's eyes.

“T-thank you Dan.” Phil whispered, his voice wavering as he was overwhelmed with both love for Dan because of his kind actions and the pain that persisted in his head. Dan noticed his blotchy cheeks and knelt down beside Phil, wiping the hair away from his forehead.

“What's wrong Phil?” Dan asked quietly. Phil's lips quivered; the pain in his head prominent as he replied.

“M'head hurts really bad.” Phil whined, as another wave of pain washed over his body. Though he was shivering, his whole body was on fire from the overwhelming sensations of pain and anxiety. His head was spinning faster than he could process, making him want to vomit. Even though his eyes were shut, he felt like he was on a roller coaster going through loops. “And I'm too warm,” He cried, feeling sweat forming on his body.

“Let's get your shirt off.” Dan moved the flannel aside so Phil could sit up and remove the blood stained shirt. Dan laid Phil back down onto the cushions carefully, placing the flannel on his eyes again. “Now I'll get you pain killers,” Dan leant down and kissed Phil's blotchy red cheeks then went off to grab pain killers. The bathroom cabinet held all the medicine, so it wasn't hard to find, and in no time he was back with Phil, glass of water in hand. “Here you go love.” Dan helped Phil sit up so he could take the medicine, and remembered the gauze still in his pockets.

“Phil I need to wrap your head okay? Then you can sleep. Do you want to go in the room?” Phil nodded, to what Dan wasn't sure. He just helped him off the couch, setting aside the wet flannel on the couch to leave a mark. Dan would clean it up later anyways. Phil's nails dug into his palms as he stood, the pain in his head tripling.

“Dan!” He whined loudly, his knees buckling under him. Dan gasped and grabbed onto Phil's arms to keep him from hitting the floor.

“Phil it's okay,” Dan soothed, gently lowering Phil onto his knees. “We just have a bit to walk okay. I'll wrap your head up and then you can sleep for as long as you want.” Tears poured down Phil's cheeks; Dan's heart hurt for him. He couldn't do anything to help Phil but what the doctor told him to do (which didn't help Phil with the pain).

With the last bit of strength he felt in him, Phil lifted himself off the floor and staggered forward. Dan quickly got up and helped Phil to his bedroom. As soon as Phil hit the bed he collapsed and proceeded to drag himself up to where the pillows where. In a last ditch effort to comfort himself, he gripped the pillow to his chest and curled into a ball. Dan frowned; knowing Phil was in pain made him feel awful, especially because he knew he couldn't help him.

Dan took the gauze from his pockets along with the tube of antiseptic. “I just need to wrap your head okay Phil?” Phil buried his face in the pillow, but nodded anyways. “Okay just lift your head so I can do it alright? I'll be quick.” Phil lifted his head reluctantly. Dan quickly smeared the antiseptic across the wound, being sure that he wasn't applying too much pressure. He then took the tissues out and unraveled the gauze. Phil groaned, his body tensing as more pain hit him. “I'm almost done, I'm sorry.” Dan unraveled the gauze with nimble fingers and held the tissue in place as he wrapped the first line around Phil's head. After that he easily got the rest around his head, making sure it was tight enough that it wouldn't get infected, but not tight enough to harm Phil.

“Okay Phil I'm all done.” Phil immediately dropped his head and sighed. Dan leant down and kissed his nose, “I'll be in bed soon love, just sleep now.” Phil nodded and drifted off to sleep, the pain relievers taking the edge off the pain for him.

Dan went to clean the kitchen, scrubbing the cerise stains off the floor with a mix of bleach and water. Once he was done, he put everything away and washed himself off. As he got back into the bedroom, he took a look at Phil, who was curled into a tight ball in sleep, and smiled. He looked peaceful when he slept.

Dan shuffled over to the bed, crawling under the blue and green duvet and wrapping his arms securely around his boyfriend.

“I love you Phil,” Dan whispered, kissing Phil's forehead. Dan let sleep overcome him after the long night, hoping Phil would be better in the morning.

-

Dan woke up to the glimmer of sunlight peeking in through the window sill in Phil's bedroom. He rolled over to avoid the bright yellow streaks, and without forethought slung his arm over Phil's body. Seconds later, Dan felt Phil tense beneath his arm and immediately he remembered last night. Thinking he had somehow injured Phil, whether that be he hit the wound itself or not, he quickly removed his arm and sat bolt upright in bed. When his eyes focused again after he pried them open, he looked down at Phil, who was still beneath the sheets. Dan blinked, rubbed his eyes, and looked again, and what he saw was still the same.

Phil was looking up at him, completely still, with eyes full of absolute terror.

Dan scrunched up his forehead. “Phil?” He whispered, the noise sounding like a scream in the dead silence of the room. Dan saw Phil release a breath from between his slightly parted lips. “Phil what's wrong?” Phil gripped tighter to the sheets beneath him. Phil's eye darted around the room; his chest rising and falling far too fast to be normal. Something was definitely wrong.

“Phil do I need to take you back to the doctor?” Dan said, reaching forward to try and feel Phil's forehead. Phil jerked away violently, kicking at the bed to push himself away from Dan. Dan blinked in confusion, being further confused by Phil's weird actions. “Phil what's wro-

“What the hell is going on? Who are you?” Phil cried, his eyes going red as tears forming there. He grabbed at the sheets and pulled them over his bare chest, hiding behind them.

“Phil, what do you mean?” Dan said, crawling forward on his hands and knees. Dan's movements were robotic as he approached Phil like he was a small injured animal.

“Stay away from me!” Phil screamed, kicking at Dan. Dan moved back so he wasn't anywhere where Phil could kick him, but apparently he was still too close by the look still etched on Phil's face. Dan was still confused as to why Phil was acting this way.

“Phil wh-what's wrong? Why are you acting like this?” Dan said, sitting back on his feet, causing them to fall asleep. Not that it matter though, as Phil was trembling from head to toe in complete panic.

“Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop saying my name like you know me, you don't know me!” Phil's voice broke as he screamed. He pulled the blanket over his head. “Please let me go.” His voice was quieter, which surprisingly hit Dan way harder than his yells had.

“Phil I'm not keeping you here, this is your flat you can leave if you want.” Dan said, trying to appeal to this Phil. Whoever this Phil was. This Phil wasn't his Phil, he knew that.

Phil pulled the blanket down but kept it covering his nose and mouth as he peeked over at Dan. “Who are you?” Phil whispered. Dan was struck by the rawness of Phil's voice, and was blown away by the words quietly uttered from his lips. Dan sat, his jaw hanging open as he stared at Phil, which slowly started to anger Phil.

“Who are you?” Phil said again, but in a lower voice, each word punctuated with a pause. Dan opened and closed his mouth, only small noises coming out. Phil sat forward, new rage forming in his gut. “Who are you!?” Phil shrieked, slamming his hands down on the mattress. It was now Dan's turn to be filled with fear, as Phil's face contorted in anger. Never before had Dan seen Phil look at _him_ that way. That look was reserved for really awful people.

Dan leant back on his arms, feeling them burn with his weight being put on them all at once. The air was tense, and for a moment, nothing happened. No one spoke. No one breathed.

Then Phil lunged forwards, pushing all his weight on top of Dan's chest and causing Dan's arms to slip out from beneath him. Dan tried to move out from under him, but Phil took his arms and pinned them beside him on the bed. Dan wiggled beneath Phil, who was straddling his chest, to no avail. Phil moved back so he was sitting over Phil's hips, and he leant down so he was hovering over Dan's face.

“I'll ask one more time before I run out of here and go to the police. Who. Are. You.” Phil said, eyes burning into Dan's. Dan stayed silent once again as he stared up at Phil. “Answer me!”

“I-I-” Dan stuttered out, his mouth going dry.

“What!?” Phil was fuming as he loomed over Dan. Dan let out a breath and closed his eyes.

“You're so fucking hot.” Dan said, biting his lip and opening his eyes to look back at Phil. In truth Dan wasn't scared, not really, not at all. He knew Phil was a wimp, and he knew from what he saw moments ago that Phil was petrified. Though this side of Phil was way more _full on_ then Dan had ever experienced, and he loved it.

“What the fuck is wrong with you!” Phil pressed down harder on Dan's wrists, digging his nails into Dan's soft pale flesh.

“Ow ow ow Phil!” Dan said, trying to pull away. Phil just gripped tighter to his wrists.

“Who the fuck are you!” Dan felt Phil's breath on his face and he turned his face to one side.

“I'm Dan! I'm your boyfriend you fucking spoon!” Dan yelled, getting slightly annoyed now. He would probably have bruising on his wrists. Try explaining those to a public audience that already thinks you're fucking your best friend. “Now let me up,” Dan whined.

“No. You're bullshitting me, and I know it. Tell me who you are, who you really are.” Phil growled, his face inches from Dan's. Dan sighed in defeat.

“I'm telling you the truth Phil. I'm your boyfriend, Dan Howell.” Dan's voice was earnest, and full of defeat. “I don't know what's wrong with you Phil, but apparently you don't remember me. I'm guessing because of you hitting your head.” Phil scrunched his head and seemed to recognize the pain coming from the damaged skin there. “I'm sorry.” Dan breathed out, his voice airy and subjugated. Phil's eyes softened for a moment, but he didn't let up.

“Why should I believe you? I don't even know you, why would you be my boyfriend.”

“That's the thing! I don't know why you don't remember me. I think it's because of yesterday but I can't be sure. We should go to the doctor and-”

“That doesn't make sense. I was at Uni yesterday.” Phil said, like it was the simplest thing in the world. Dan's eyebrows came together in confusion, then relaxed as he realized how bad this was.

“Phil how old do you think you are?” Dan asked, looking precariously up at Phil.

“Twenty one.” Phil replied viciously, as if the question itself offended him. Dan gulped down bile that was rising in his throat, realizing how bad this actually was.

“Phil,” Dan said, now with tears in his eyes as he met Phil's. “It's 2015. You're twenty eight.” Phil immediately blew that idea off, scoffing with disinterest. He resettled on Dan's lap so he could make sure Dan didn't move.

“I'm serious, look at your phone, look at your twitter, your YouTube channel.” Dan urged, trying desperately to get Phil to believe him. Phil rolled his eyes at Dan, “You're just trying to get me to move, I'm not stupid.” Dan sighed and turned his head away from Phil once more trying to figure out how to get out of this. Then a light went off in his head.

“Phil if you are twenty one how come you don't look it?” Dan said, nodding to the mirror adorning the left corner of the room. With the angle they were at, you could just barely see Dan through Phil's arms, but if Phil turned to look at it, he would be able to see his face, and most of his whole body. Phil peered suspiciously at Dan, pressing down harder onto Dan's wrists before he turned to inspect the mirror. He froze as his eyes caught themselves within the reflective object; he visibly paled.

“Wh-What the hell?” Phil stuttered. His hands relaxed without his permission and Dan pushed himself up. Phil squeaked, the terror from before replacing his anger. The confusion swirling within his head overrode the anger as well, making him sick to his stomach. Dan sat up and put his arms in front of him so Phil knew he wouldn't hurt him.

“Phil, it's okay. I know you are scared but I can explain everything. We just need to get you to the hospital to check your head for damage. You fell yesterday and hit it, which is probably the cause of this memory loss.” Phil gulped and Dan gently placed one hand on his arm. Phil flinched, but didn't move away from the soft touch. “Phil I promise you I'm telling you the truth. We need to go to the hospital.” Phil seemed to debate it, and when he seemed indecisive, Dan reached for his phone. “Look I can prove we know each other.” Dan pulled his phone from the charger, and began showing Phil evidence of their past together.

He showed Phil the text messages they seemingly exchanged, which corresponded with the ones on his own phone. He showed Phil his YouTube channel, which now had over three million subscribers, and his twitter which had close to two million followers. Phil gaped at all the evidence, not knowing how to process it all.

“I know it's a lot to take in, but please believe me.” Dan said gently. “We need to go to the hospital and see what's wrong with you so maybe they can fix it.” Dan reached up and adjusted the gauze wrapped around Phil's head. Phil froze and stared at Dan.

_”I just need to wrap your head, okay Phil?” Dan's voice was gentle and Phil remembered he felt so loved._

“Phil are you okay?” Dan asked gently, “Oh god did I hurt you I'm so sorry I-”

“I remembered something. You wrapped my head yesterday.” Phil knew it was yesterday because they were both wearing the same things as he had seen in his 'flashback'. Dan's eyes widened, “That-That's great, do you remember anything else?” Phil shook his head. “Oh, well at least we have hope of you remembering.” Dan couldn't hide the disappointment in his voice.

Phil shifted awkwardly and reached over to touch Dan's arm. “I believe you.” It was hard to say, but it was true anyways. The guy before him, the one he thought he didn't know, didn't seem able to kidnap him like he first believed. He also provided evidence that they were in 2015, and maybe he didn't remember it, but he knew he was clumsy. There was a high possibility he couldn't knocked himself in the head so hard he forgot everything.

Dan sighed in relief. “Good.” He took Phil's hand from his arm and squeezed it. “Now please come with me to the hospital to get your head checked.” Phil hesitated slightly, but figured if anything he could escape if he needed to. He nodded his head and allowed the guy-Dan, to pick a shirt for him to put on. Dan quickly changed into a different outfit and grabbed the keys to the flat before heading over to the door. Once they were ready to go, Dan smiled lightly at Phil and opened the door for him so he could go first. Within minutes they were on their way to the hospital, all the while Dan was hoping Phil would start to remember him. They sat opposite each other in the taxi, Dan peering out the window, lost in his daydream, Phil giving Dan glances every now and then. Phil folded his hands in his lap and waited for them to arrive, silently wishing to remember the pretty guy who claimed to be his boyfriend.

-  
“So how long have we been together?” Phil asked, swinging his bare legs over the side of the white cushioned hospital bed. When they arrived at the hospital, Dan called the doctor over and explained what happened to Phil, and immediately the doctor called for an MRI to check for brain damage. Phil was asked to change into a hospital gown, and after the test they directed them both to a separate room while they waited for the results back. While they had nothing to do, Phil decided to start asking questions to see if any of them would jog his memory.

“Almost six years now,” Dan responded to Phil's question. “We met in 2009, and talked to each other a little before that. We were basically dating, but we never actually made it official until later in 2010.” Dan recalled the moment he first got the guts to kiss Phil. It was amazing, and he remembered thinking how warm Phil's lips were. “We've been together ever since, even though the fans don't know.” Phil nodded, still new to all this information.

Dan smiled and went over to the small bed. “You know, even though it's only been a day, I really miss you.” Dan said quietly taking Phil's hands in his own.

“I'm right here.” Phil said in confusion, oblivious to what Dan meant.

“No you spork,” Dan laughed, “I mean...” Dan looked up into Phil's eyes with resolute love. “I miss you.” Dan's eyes were full of love and longing as he stared at Phil. Phil blinked, taken aback by Dan's words and the look of complete and utter love circling through his eyes.

“I'm sorry,” Phil said quietly, feeling a tug in his chest. He wanted to remember Dan, he wanted to remember everything they shared.

“It's okay,” Dan dropped one of Phil's hands so he could push back the hair from Phil's face. “I know you don't know me.” Dan stepped closer to Phil so their outwards breaths mingled. “But I still uh-well you know.” Phil giggled and nodded his head a bit.

“Dan?” Phil whispered, not needing to say it any louder since Dan was standing so close.

“Yes?” Dan dipped his head forward so their lips were brushing.

“Would you kiss me?” Their eyes closed.

“Of course.” Phil moved one hand up to Dan's cheek and pulled him that little bit closer so their lips pressed together. For Phil, it was their first kiss, but for Dan it was their millionth: but both felt exactly the same-amazing. The love that flowed through them wasn't one sided, and when Dan deepened the kiss Phil felt electricity spread. His heart rate doubled; it was like he was remembering Dan, because in that moment, Phil knew he loved him. Phil knew somewhere deep down he loved Dan, even if he didn't fully remember him.

A cough coming from the doorway made them jerk apart; Phil blushing deeply and Dan smiling in embarrassment. “Sorry Mr. Lester, Mr Howell.” The nurse said with a giggle. “Just wanted to let you know we are going to be doing a re-scan in a few minutes at the doctors request.” Dan scrunched up his eyebrows.

“Re-scan? For what?” Dan stuttered, fearing the worst when he heard those words.

“From what I can tell it's from an abnormality though it could just be the machine. It's nothing to panic over.” The nurse gave a comforting smile and left the room in dead silence. Dan bit his lip, chewing on the pink skin. Phil gently wrapped his fingers around Dan's forearm and squeezed, which calmed Dan considerably.

“It'll be okay Dan,” Phil smiled, dipping his head so Dan would look at him. Dan met his eyes and instantly felt a smile creep onto his lips. He saw the same love pooling in Phil's crystal blue eyes that he had known for six years.

“I know it will.” Dan replied, placing his hand over Phil's and squeezing.

-  
There was a knock at the door, and after a moment the doctor entered.“Mr. Howell may I speak with you?” He asked, nodding his head towards the hallway. Dan gave Phil's hand one last squeeze and his cheek one last kiss before he left after the doctor. “Come take a look at this.” The doctor continued, leading them down a hallway and into a room that was absent of beds or chairs. The doctor put two images up on a white transparent board and flipped a switch, which illuminated them from behind. “As you can see we have two images of Mr. Lester's brain.”

“Okay? Is there a problem?” Dan asked in fear and confusion. He had no idea what the blues, greens, and reds meant, but he was terrified of what they could signify.

“I wouldn't say a problem, but take a look at this.” The doctor pointed to a grey area around the middle of the brain. “Grey areas mean no activity, and as we can see here there is no activity.”

“No activity?” Dan questioned, scooting closer to examine the area in question. He didn't know what it meant, which scared him even further.

“Yes, no activity, which is highly unusual for this area. See this,” He pointed at the blob of grey again. “Is the hippocampus. That's where long-term memories are stored. Usually that is a very active area, as you can probably guess.” The doctor moved his finger over to a blob of bright red. “This however is the epithalamus, which is a gland that secretes melatonin. Melatonin is something which makes you sleep.” Dan nodded, silently asking the doctor to go on.

“This is red, which means it's over active, which is not normal for that part of the brain.”

“So what does this all mean?” Dan felt himself growing even more worried the longer the doctor drew this encounter out without explanation.

“Well take a look at the re-scan. We thought it was a flaw in the machine, but it wasn't. As you can see the epithalamus is still hyperactive, however the hippocampus is now showing signs of activity.”

“So?” Dan drew out the vowel, waving his hand in a circular motion to urge the doctor to continue.

“You said Mr. Lester had memory loss when he came in right?” The doctor asked, switching off the lights behind the pictures.

“Yeah, he was fine last night but when he woke up he couldn't remember me at all. He couldn't remember the last few years actually.” Dan mumbled dishearteningly, still upset everything that he had with Phil was gone: at least in Phil's mind.

“That's strange.” The doctor hummed. “Has he gained any memories back since then?”

“Yeah actually, he's started to remember me. It's bits and pieces but he's coming around.” Dan said, smiling lightly.

The doctor stared at the floor, baffled as to what to diagnose. “Well he definitely has memory loss, though there is no sign of any concussions or hemorrhaging.” The doctor tapped his chin. “I think we should do one more scan, on a different machine to see if there is any bruising. If that's the case it might just be a bruise to the area that is causing the memory loss, and if it is causing the memory loss there is a good chance he will gain everything back once it heals.”

“So your saying that he could remember everything again?” Dan asked excitedly.

“If it is what I think it is.” The doctor confirmed. “Though I'm curios as to how he gained back his memory.” Dan blushed scarlet and looked to the floor. “Ah I see.” The doctor smile gently. “Well it's not very 'scientific' of me to say.” The doctor used air quotes to emphasis 'scientific.' “But I believe love is a very strong emotion. Maybe that has something to do with Mr. Lester's recovery.” Dan scoffed but in reality he was very excited to hear this.

“I'm serious, a lot of stuff goes unexplained when it comes to love. It can affect us in ways we can never imagine.” Dan simply nodded, feeling the deep words sparking hope in his mind.

-  
“Well Mr. Howell, turns out that I was correct. Minor bruising of the hippocampus and epithalamus has caused over active melatonin release, combined with the damage to the hippocampus has caused a temporary loss in memory when unconscious.”

“So he should be alright?” Dan asked before he got too excitement.

“He should be just fine, though his memory may be scrambled until his brain makes a full recovery.” Dan smiled at the news, waiting for the doctor to exit before heading out the door himself. He checked Phil out of the hospital, took his hand, and led him to a taxi going home. Phil kissed him gently on the nose as he got in, feeling affection rush back through him. Phil then yawned and Dan informed him that after they showered, he could go to bed.

They arrived home and Dan unlocked the door so Phil could enter. They undressed and took one combined shower, Dan helping Phil stay on his feet and cleaning him up when he couldn't focus any longer. By the time the shower was over, Phil was nearly asleep, and Dan giggled as he dried him off, slipping boxers on him, and leading him to bed. Phil flopped onto the mattress, smiling gently up at Dan before nuzzling into the pillows. “Goodnight Phil.” Dan whispered, kissing his forehead where the freshly placed bandages were. Phil hummed in contentment before falling gently to sleep.

Dan dried himself off, and got into bed himself, snuggling close to his sleeping boyfriend. Phil moved back so they were pressed together, and Dan smiled gently against his shoulder. “Love you.” He whispered, letting Phil's even breaths lull him to sleep.

-  
Phil woke up first, his eyes blinking slowly open and barely focusing on the room around him. His eyes were irritated from the contacts he was still wearing, and he blinked and rubbed his eyes to try and focus on something-anything. The room he was in was unfamiliar, the blue and green tones running across the wall were eerie. His breath fluttered and his heart palpitated faster and faster. He gripped the sheets tightly until his knuckles turned white.

Then he heard a groan and the sheets next to him moved.

Phil gasped and jumped backwards, falling out of bed and onto the floor. “Phil,” he heard his name being called, and he quickly got to his feet and backed away from the bed. “Phil?”

Dan turned over and peered at Phil through sleep filled eyes. “Phil what's wro-” Dan was cut short from his sentence by the sudden realization. “Oh no Phil, please tell me you know what's going on.”

Phil shook his head in fear. “Phil okay stay calm,” Dan whispered. “I'm going to explain everything.” Dan already knew what was going on inside Phil's head, so he knew what route to take to explain everything. He slowly reached for his phone on the nightstand and held it out for Phil to take. “Look at it, look at the date. Do you understand?”

Phil saw _2015_ written in white print across the lock screen. “This could be fake.” He said quietly, more to himself than to Dan.

“It's not, I promise. Its 2015, I can show you evidence of it. You hit your head two days ago and now you have amnesia.” Dan explained gently. “I know it's a lot to process but I just want you to know you are safe okay?” Phil gulped and bit at his lip. “You are free to leave if you want.” Dan gestured to the door and let Phil examine it. He caught a glimpse of the mirror staged in the corner and he saw in the reflection his own body aged far beyond what it had been. This shocked him, but if what the stranger before him said was true-

“Where am I?” Phil asked, surprisingly not threatened by Dan.

“In our flat.” Dan responded, feeling a bit more relaxed seeing that Phil wasn't as scared as he was the day before.

“Our?” Phil asked, looking into Dan's eyes.

“We live together. I'm uh-your boyfriend.” Dan scratched the back of his head and he smiled shyly.

“My b-boyfriend? You?” Phil said dubiously.

“Uh yeah,” Dan felt almost self-conscious as Phil looked at him. He had absolutely no idea what he was thinking.

“Well if that's true.” Phil ran his eyes up and down Dan's body. Dan blushed deep red and looked at the floor.

“Aren't too bad yourself you flirty fuck,” Dan responded, remembering how incredibly flirty Phil use to be back before they first started dating, and even after they had begun to. Phil giggled but made no move towards Dan.

“I'm sorry it's just-this is a lot to take in. I'm kind of shocked, I mean I don't remember anything, yet your telling me I've missed nearly seven years of my life.”

“I know it's crazy.” Dan said, stepping lightly towards Phil. “But I'm telling you the truth.” Dan moved a piece of stray hair back so it wasn't sticking out. A sort of deja vu overcame him as he remembered doing this exact thing yesterday. “I love you.” Phil didn't move away as Dan gently pressed a kiss to his mouth.

Though as soon as their lips touched, something sparked in Phil.

Almost like a current had been sent through him, he began to move, deepening the kiss. Dan smiled against his lips and held either side of his face in his hands. When Phil pulled away his eyes were teary. “I remember you.” Dan's eyes lit up as he gazed in Phil's “I do I really do. Not everything is there, so much is missing but I remember you.”

“That's great,” Dan whispered with tears forming in his eyes. Great wasn't even close to how incredible this was.

“Dan,” Phil whispered, stroking Dan's cheek. “My Dan.” Dan hugged him and nestled his head into Phil's shoulder. They stayed like that for a while, until their legs burned. They decided to move to the couch in the lounge (which Phil remembered first bringing up there) and tried to figure it all out.

“It's just really hard you know.” Dan said quietly. “Having you forget me. It's like loosing you over and over again.” Dan whispered. “I don't want it to happen again, but the doctor told me that it will until your brain fully heals.” Phil frowned deeply, but then got an idea.

“Wait a second,” He said, “The moment you kissed me was when I started remembering things right? What if that's what sparks it? You could just kiss me everyday and make me remember!”

“Phil there a few problems with that. First off, when you forget everything you get scared of me.” Phil shrugged at that, knowing it was true. “And second off, yesterday when I kissed you, it wasn't instantaneous. It took a while for your memories to start coming back fully.”

“What did you do differently?” Dan's eyes opened dramatically and he stared at Phil awestruck.

“I told you I loved you.” Phil considered this. “Maybe with the whole kiss and the love and everything.” Dan sighed not being able to put together a coherent sentence.

“Love is a pretty strong emotion.”

“That;s exactly what the doctor said.” Dan chuckled bitterly. Phil leant forward and kissed him briefly. “It's okay Dan, we'll make it work. It won't be forever right?” Dan nodded but the thought briefly crossed his mind.

_What if it was forever?_

-  
By the third time, Dan was prepared for it. When he heard Phil's panicked breathing in his ear as he swam into conciseness, he knew what was wrong. He immediately sat up and backed away from Phil. “Phil?” Phil's eyes were nearly popping out of his skull with how wide open they were and Phil quickly moved off the bed away from Dan. Dan sighed and began to explain.

“Phil I know everything is really confusing right now, but I need you to listen to me. You are free to go whenever, I'm not keeping you here.” Dan recalled Phil telling him that was the first thought he had. If he was kidnapped. “This is going to sound crazy, but you hit your head and for the past three days have been forgetting everything. I'm your boyfriend, Dan, and we are in 2015. If you look in the mirror you'll see what I mean.” Phil's gaze pulled over to where Dan was pointing. The mirror was shifted so it was facing the bed.

Phil's eyes blinked rapidly. “What did you do to me!?” He screamed in complete terror.

“Phil you are much different than you use to be but please listen to me.” Phil's eyes snapped back to Dan when he moved forward on towards the bed's edge. “I love you, I know it sound crazy but I love you. I love your hair and your eyes, I love your smile when your tongue sticks out. I even love how clumsy you are, which is what got us into this mess in the first place.” Phil's eyes changed, and he seemed to relax.

“I love how you take your coffee. two sugars one cream,” Dan added quickly, “ I love that you put stickers on everything, how you always buy a kinder egg when you leave the store with nothing, how you wear two different socks everyday, how you do that weird hand thing all the time. I especially love when you kiss me, and you put your hand on the back of my neck, because I know you are the only one who would be able to touch my neck and have it not feel strange.” Dan took a breath and reached for Phil's hand. Phil moved slightly forward and took Dan's hand. “I love you, everything about you.” Phil's eyes flickered back and forth between Dan's before he reached forward and grabbed Dan's cheeks and kissed him fully on the lips. Dan grabbed onto Phil's shirt and pushed him back so he could stand in front of him. Dan tilted his head and deepened the kiss, pressing their bodies together and letting every inch of them meet.

Again, Phil's mind sparked to life. He began to remember Dan entwined in his life from where they began. All the memories rushed back, and soon all he could see was Dan, Dan, Dan.

“That worked way better than the last two times Dan,” Phil giggled after he pulled away. After remembering everything, including the last two nights, he tried to figure out what happened differently.

“Wait you remember everything, even last night?” Dan asked. Phil nodded and smiled. “That's amazing, last night you didn't remember everything.”

“Yeah I remember everything up to this point. At least I think. There doesn't seem to be any holes.” Phil closed his eyes and mentally sorted his memories. Dan smiled lightly and kissed his forehead.

“I'm glad you're back.” Dan said, holding Phil's cheek in one hand and rubbing the pad of his thumb just under Phil's eye.

“I'm sorry for leaving you again.” Phil said, placing his hand over Dan's on his face.

“It's okay,” Dan whispered, “It's not your fault you forget everything.” Dan downcast his eyes and felt tears form. Before he knew it tears trickled down his cheeks and his eyes shut.

“Oh Dan,” Phil whispered before pulling Dan into a hug and holding the back of his head as he cried into his shoulder.

“I just don't want to lose you. What if this is permanent.” Dan cried as he clutched onto Phil's shirt. “I can't do this alone I need you Phil.” Dan's words were severely broken between his hiccups and gasps for breath.

“Dan,” Phil cooed. “Dan it's okay. You won't have to do this alone, I don't know how but we will figure this out okay?” Dan's sobs only continued to grow stronger; his knees buckled and he fell backwards onto the ground. He wrapped his arms around his knees and sobbed into his jeans. Phil was heartbroken at the sight of Dan looking so helpless. He bent down and held Dan's arm.

“Dan look at me,” When Dan didn't look up Phil took both sides of his head between his hands and pulled Dan's head up. Dan's cheeks were blotchy red and his eyes were puffy. Tears dripped down his face and off his chin, puddling onto his already damp jeans. “Dan I promise you, whatever it takes we will make this okay, okay? I promise it will be okay. We'll be okay.” Dan continued to hiccup but he nodded at Phil.

Phil hugged Dan around the shoulder, the position awkward due to Dan's knees digging into his stomach. He held Dan though, and made sure that he felt secure. “I love you Dan. Nothing will change that. Not even amnesia. I will always love you.” Phil pulled away. “Don't forget that.” He wiped the stray tears off Dan's face and kissed his cheeks.

“I-I'm just worried, that you won't ever get better.” Dan whimpered. “That everyday you'll keep forgetting me and one day you'll just leave and not come back.” Phil felt his heart ache.

“Dan?” Dan's fallen eyes picked back up and gazed up into Phil's. It was Phil's turn to brush the hair behind Dan's ear. “I promise everything will be alright.”

The earnest look in Phil's eyes told Dan everything he needed to know.

They would be okay. At the end of the day, they would be okay. And that was enough for Dan to press his lips gently against Phil's as he let go. All worries gone from his body.

They'd be okay. He knew they would be.


End file.
